Feeling lost. Eyes blurred with tears, tears that flow down unleashing the emotions trapped in the heart. Tears trail down their age old path but even their descent does not cool off the heated emotions of my tumultuous heart. Now, smile seems like a long lost friend who often visits but for limited time and when it leaves, it erases its mark and creates a crater of hopelessness.
From the very beginning of my so-called life (I hate to call it life though, but I don’t have any other word to define it... so life), I have craved for few things that till date I am deprived of i.e., time and understanding of my loved ones. But call it my misfortune or whatever, as time and time again I am left alone b y people I love, to fight my tears and ailing. It’s not that they are never there, rather it’s that they never have enough time to see through me to find that my heart is filled with hurt and that my eyes are watery.
Day in and day out I am left alone with my solitude, solitude that makes me feel like a loser. Now when I look into the mirror I don’t see myself but see someone with sad watery eyes crying out for someone to wipe their tears with affection and understanding. It isn’t that no one has come forward rather the ones that have come forward have been always either snatched away from me by oh-so-called luck (good for them but bad for me) or they just are wise enough to walk out on a cry baby like me or they just don’t have enough time to hear my heart out. In any case, I am left alone to tackle my raging heart and hurt emotions.
Sometimes, when I sit back and think about this, I feel that I am lacking in the skill to make other realize my sentiments. I may be portraying the wrong picture of me being at the best of my moods and making everyone takes me for granted. Is it just my bad luck or am I destined to feel like a destitute.
